


Arcturus

by Chipper_Daily



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Headcanon, I don't know how to tag this tbh, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Canon, Some Swearing, Space Flight, Space Husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 12:16:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17787254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chipper_Daily/pseuds/Chipper_Daily
Summary: Zim ran and Dib pursued. That’s how it was, that’s how it had always been.





	Arcturus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DarkAbyss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAbyss/gifts).



_He is more myself than I am._

_Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same._

__\- Emily Bronte_ _

 

 

He woke to a sea of endless stars.

He groaned as he stretched, his spine popping and a crick in his neck making itself known.

       //Welcome back, dead weight. I thought for sure you’d died that time.// The familiar accented voice chimed through the smothering silence. //Pity.//

       “Thanks, Tak.” Dib croaked, his voice still thick with sleep as he tried to rub the knot out of his neck. He should know better than to drift off while the seat was locked upright, he wasn’t as young as he used to be. “Where are we?”

       //About twelve clicks from planet Dirt. I was going to dump your corpse off there before it started to smell.// Dib rolled his eyes in the brief pause that followed, already knowing the punchline before his ship could deliver it. //Well, more than usual anyway.//

       “Any chance of redirecting to an inhabited planet I’d actually _want_ to visit?” He ran a hand through his hair and grimaced. “Preferably one with showers?”

       //It’s about time you asked, Earth-smell.//

The ship dipped into a lazy spiral and deeper, deeper, into cold inky darkness Dib fell.

\---

       “ZIM!” Dib grit his teeth and spun in the dappled light, his coat flaring around his waist with the violent movement. If his target had been _human_ he would have focused his efforts on peering around tree trunks and behind bushes. However, his foe was actually a hideous space cockroach in a paper-thin human disguise, so he squinted against the glare of the sun between the leaves as he scanned the branches rustling high above the narrow trail. “Give me back my camera, you _jerk!_ ”

He ripped his fingers through his unruly hair and growled as he turned to storm back down the path to where he’d first lost Zim’s trail. He knew the little monster wouldn’t have gone far- he would want to _see_ Dib’s frustration. He found the last round hole in the dirt left from the alien’s PAK, like someone had hammered a peg into the soil and ripped it out again, and tilted back to scan the trees once more.

       “Zim, _seriously,_ ” The twelve-year-old absolutely hadn’t taken on a more pleading tone. “Dad said if I lose this camera he’s not going to get me another one!” He caught a sudden movement from the corner of his eye and twisted to catch a glimpse of his prey. He was rewarded with a sharp tug from behind on his hair spike, hard enough to almost knock him off balance. Dib whirled around to find the tiny green terror cackling, suspended upside down from an overhanging branch by two of his freakish PAK legs, Dib’s camera clutched possessively against his chest. The self-proclaimed paranormal investigator lunged, only for his bitter nemesis to retreat back up into the foliage out of his reach. Zim hooked his skinny legs over the branch, a transparent imitation of a normal human boy hanging from the monkey bars, and dangled Dib’s camera high above him with a malicious grin.

       “Poor little _Earth-boy_ outwitted once again by the mighty ZIM!” His grin stretched impossibly wide. “Now the Dib-thing will _beg_ his future lord and master for mercy.”

Dib rolled his eyes so hard it actually hurt.

       “Whatever, Zim. Game’s over, I found you. Now give me back my camera!”

       “Found-!?” The horrible alien menace reeled back. “ _Found?!_ You found  _nothing,_ worm-child! Zim found _ou!_ ” He curled around the camera and scowled down at the human. “If I was _actually_ trying to hide from you, Dib-stink, you would never, _ever,_ find me!” He pointed so enthusiastically to emphasize his point the whole branch swayed with it. “Not that you’d ever be enough of a _threat_ to-” Whatever Zim was going to say was drowned out by the sound of wood cracking. His fake lavender eyes popped wide and there was a breathless moment where Dib just sincerely hoped his camera wouldn’t break. Then the tree branch snapped and Zim dropped like a stone with an undignified shriek.

\---

It all seemed so silly to look back on now, the bloodstains and playground games.

Dib leaned against the sink and scrubbed his hair beneath the trickle this particular guest house was trying to market as a ‘shower’. His washroom consisted of a hole in the floor, a small sink, and a hose head poking out of the wall above it, all in a cozy broom closet’s worth of space. All things considered, his entire room was about the size of a modest walk-in closet, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise. But it was cheap and better than nothing. He rubbed his hands over his face and peeked over his fingertips to squint at the far wall.

It had felt real though, back when everything had been black and white through the eyes of a child. More real than anything he’d ever felt before.

It had all boiled down to a fight between them with nothing short of the fate of the world at stake. From their actual battles that rattled the cosmos itself, to whether or not Dib could shove Zim down the stairs without winding up in detention, it had always been either a victory for Earth or one dreadful step closer to his planet’s doom.

But in the end, he had won.

(Hadn’t he?)

He absently rubbed the rough stubble along his jawline and wished there was a mirror.

The TakShip had taken them pretty far off course this time. She must really want to avoid Cyberflox if she was willing to swing this close to Dirt. That was a fight he could pick tomorrow. For now, he was looking forward to being cleaner and more well-rested than he’d been in the past three weeks.

He blindly groped behind him along the sink until his fingertips blundered across the faucet. The old pipes groaning within the walls reminded him of Earth, of the showers in his old Hi Skool locker room. There we go, that was an upside. At least this place was cleaner than gym class. He didn’t fight his wry grin as he tilted his head back and let the last trickle of coppery scented water drizzle through his hair to run down his back, tiny rivulets following shallow beds of old scars to part over the white, star-shaped hollow beneath his right shoulder blade.

\---

There was something… wrong. The light in the dimly lit hallway was too… yellow. His boots made no noise against the tiles, all sound smothered as completely as though he was free-floating in deep space. Still, he held his breath as he carefully picked his way through the mess strewn across the floor. The doors to the lockers that lined the walls were firmly closed, yet they did nothing to contain the mounds of papers and textbooks that spilled out of them. His hands were small, and he wore the boots he used to have before-

 _-sharp pain in his chest-_ **_Never Question- Never Surrender- Never Look Back-_ **

There was something… something wrong in the hallway, he couldn’t see it, but the air smelled rank. Something was rotting, wrapped up tight and hidden away. His heart hammered against his ribs, beating out a steady rhythm of _run, run, run._

       “Zim, come on, this isn’t funny.” His voice was high like he always used to deny it got when he was frightened. “We need to go home.” Something shifted at his side, when he turned to look nothing was there.

       “It was never _my_ home.” Zim sniffed, haughty, petulant, somewhere near Dib’s right shoulder. He didn’t turn to look this time, his gaze glued to his old scuffed boots, the papers strewn across the floor, the words he didn’t want to read scrawled in violent blacks and reds across torn pages in a language he shouldn’t know. ( _Defective, Defective, that’s what the other Irkens called him. Dib didn’t fully understand what it meant, but he knew Zim would claw his eyes out if he suspected he knew._ ) Something massive loomed over him, over them both, ancient, omnipotent, and unyielding. He could feel it, but he didn’t dare look. An alien pulse older than Dib could comprehend pounding, pounding, pounding-

**_-Never Question- Never Surrender- Never Look-_ **

       “It was the only home you ever had.” Dib’s voice was so soft he wasn’t sure he’d even said it out loud. The letters on the pages fluttered like leaves in the breeze, a low clicking sound so quiet Dib wasn’t sure which of them was making it.

When Zim spoke again the arrogance and the bravado was gone, his voice equally soft in the dim light and sickly rot.

       “It was never your home either.”

When Dib woke he could feel the tune the soldiers sang as they marched under the flickering light of a distant sun buzzing beneath his skin, but he didn’t know the words.

\---

       //Do me a favour and at least leave me unlocked before you get yourself abducted and auctioned off. Then someone might just steal me and keep me intact instead of ripping me to pieces to pawn.//

       “That’s not going to happen, Tak.” Dib hummed absently as he focused on belting himself in to prepare to enter the planet’s atmosphere. The thick clouds that obscured Cyberflox’s surface swirled like jade ink in cream far below the small single-passenger craft and Dib was struck, not for the first time, by how unfathomably _old_ the universe was. Chances were very good that those clouds had churned in their lazy spirals long before the first life had stirred in some primordial ocean galaxies away, and they would continue long after the sprawling cities peppering the planet’s surface had crumbled to rubble.

       //This is Cyberflox, human, the biggest black market in this galaxy. They don’t even try to pretend that doesn’t happen here. The brutes down there only care about their product’s rarity, and you, pig-meat, are a very rare specimen indeed. Even as hideous as you are you’d still probably catch a hefty sum.//

       “You know, that’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

        //Don’t make it weird.//

       “It’s kind of a shame your original owner didn’t get to spend much time on Earth. I feel like she and my sister would have really gotten along.” Dib folded his hands behind his head with a grin. “Ready to land when you are.”

       //For the record, I don’t approve of this plan.//

       “Noted.” His reply was curt. They’d been over this already. “Ready to land.” The ship sighed, her exasperation rattling around the cramped cockpit.

       //He’s not worth it, you know.//

       “Noted. Ready to land, _Tak._ ”

       //Ugh. Fine. Brace for landing.// The ship scoffed her disgust. //You two idiots deserve each other.//

\---

       //For the record, I don’t approve of this plan.//

       “Ugh. I _know._ ” The teenager buried his face in his hands. “Look, I don’t want to do this either, but Zim is the only one who knows the override code. If we don’t get that code MegaMoose is going to crash into the surface of the planet and probably end all life on Earth.”

       //Oh no! Not all life on Earth!//

       “ _Exactly!_ ” Dib perked up with renewed vigour. “I knew you’d come around eventually, TakShip! So in order for us to save the planet, we have to-” He stopped abruptly at the belated realization the computer AI was being sarcastic. He flopped back into his seat and tightly crossed his arms, feeling both defensive and a bit embarrassed. “Would it kill you to pretend to be on my side for like ten minutes?”

       //I am not a living thing, Earth-baby.// The mechanical voice was quick to chime. //Otherwise I would say yes.//

Dib rolled his eyes. He found himself doing that _a lot_ when it came to dealing with Irken _anything._

       //He won’t thank you, you know. If you help him it won’t mean anything to him. Nothing will change. Even if he gives you the override code this time he’s just going to keep trying to destroy you and the rest of your terrible species.//

       “Since when do you care about the human race?” The thirteen-year-old quirked an eyebrow, still sulking.

       //I don’t. I _do_ care about being stuck with that screaming lunatic in my cockpit.// Well, that was fair, Dib couldn’t really hold that against the AI. He honestly wasn’t looking forward to the ride home either. //You know,// Tak’s voice broke the silence once more. //Instead of risking your neck trying to break Zim out of Moo-Ping 10, which I can almost guarantee is not going to work, you could just _bribe_ one or two of the guards to remove his PAK and give it to you. You brought your laptop, right? You’ve blundered your way through Irken programs before, you could hook up to it and start searching for the override code on the way to Earth. Then you could dispose of it or hand it over to the appropriate Earth authorities or whatever your disgusting little heart desires once you’re done with it, and _I_ will only have to listen to _one_ blathering idiot on the way back.//

Dib’s hands unconsciously fisted over his chest, over two perfectly round puffy pink marks that had refused to fade over the past six months, and swallowed down the lump in his throat. He was beginning to worry the marks would never heal, that they would fade to scars he’d carry forever.

       “No, I don’t, uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He chewed his bottom lip and hoped the TakShip wouldn’t push the issue.

He couldn’t fathom what _They_ were, besides unspeakably ancient and terrible, but They had picked apart his consciousness with the detached curiosity of a child plucking the wings off a fly. Not because They _cared,_ simply because They _could._

Some marks never faded. He still had nightmares. Sometimes he swore he could still feel the war chant thrumming in his veins, booming from the core of his very being.

**_-Never Question- Never Surrender- Never Look Back-_ **

It had been bizarre and terrifying, and while he had always known Zim was an alien, he’d never really comprehended just _how_ alien Zim was. Not until he had unwittingly linked up to, and had nearly been overwritten by, a mind that worked completely differently than his own. It was like… like some sort of _hive mind,_ where one Voice boomed above all others, even his own thoughts. ( _Voice? Voices? Six, a fragment of knowledge that wasn’t his provided, another unfortunate souvenir of Dib’s ignorant, near-fatal, blunder. Six that worked as One for the good of All._ ) It was easy to get lost, and so hard to tell what was Them, what was Dib, and what was Zim. The edges fading and blurring, fading and blurring until Dib was very, very afraid that _he_ was the one fading and blurring, that he was being erased from his own body.

And beneath all the riot and noise, the pounding of the war drums, was a _push_ , an instinct that filled him like a rush of sweet air into the lungs of a drowning man. A strange counter-current, indomitable in spite of running against all it was told. The Voice roared in terrible unison

**_-Death before Defeat!!!-_ **

**_-Death before Defect!!!-_ **

**_-Death before Defilement!!!-_ **

But beneath it all, a whisper that would not be drowned out.

_-Survive. Above all else, you must Survive.-_

If it had turned out that Zim was nothing more than a vessel designed to carry out Their commands he wouldn’t have thought twice about agreeing to the TakShip’s suggestion. If not for that desperate cry of _live, live, live,_ Dib wouldn’t have seen removing Zim’s PAK as being any more morally wrong than deleting a computer file. That’s what Zim more or less was in the end, wasn’t it? An aggressive program that had figured out how to infect an organic body to use as a puppet. He would know better than most- he had _been_ that puppet for a few terrifying moments, a stupid and brash mistake that had very nearly killed them both.

But that’s how he knew there was something else there too, independent and defiant, a will to _survive._ That… that complicated things. Was it still morally acceptable to delete a program that was capable of asking to be spared?

But even beyond that, it felt… wrong to end their rivalry in such an underhanded way. Hollow. Cheap.

Human sentiment.

He kept those thoughts to himself, he didn’t think the TakShip would approve of them either.

\---

It would be a lie to say he’d been completely unaffected by Tak’s warning. Dib did his best to appear as casual and nondescript as possible, but beneath his calm exterior, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so on edge. He kept a white-knuckled grip on the small Malus 2mm concealed in his coat pocket. His gaze constantly scanned over the shifting crowds, a plethora of vastly different species crammed and corralled into an ever-changing stream by massive skyscrapers on all sides, stretching up to disappear into a fog-choked green sky. The narrow alleyways were claustrophobic, filthy, and reeked of a whole rainbow of awful smells he absolutely didn’t want to know the source of.

Dib loved every minute of it. Well, besides the paranoia over his life being in very literal danger the whole time. If not for the pressing urgency of his mission he’d love to take his time to peruse the shops and stalls lining the narrow street.

(Maybe one day he could come back with-)

       (-No, now was not the time for silly fantasies, he had work to do.)

His height was both a blessing and a curse. If he hadn’t been head and shoulders taller than most of the other patrons flowing down the streets and alleys finding his way through the labyrinth would have been almost impossible. However, it was also pretty counterproductive to the whole ‘blending in’ thing he was trying to do. For reasons he couldn’t comprehend, there was a strange lack of species between 5 and 7 feet tall. While he was admittedly a bit above average height back on Earth, he had not anticipated he would _tower_ over most of the aliens he met off of the planet, with a handful of terrifyingly memorable exceptions. Which both explained Zim’s diminutive stature and also made his status within his society all the more absurd. Sure, the little Irken had been tiny compared to an adult _human._ But among his own kind… the difference in class and social rank would have to be measured in centimetres, _millimetres_ even. It was just… both bewildering and stupid.

Yet it made a big enough difference to enough people that he could usually safely trust that almost all rumours about a ‘short/small/tiny Invader’ he overheard were likely about Zim. And there were a frankly worrying amount of them. Zim was _not_ a well-liked Irken. But he was, for good or for ill, a well-known one, and that did make at least the information gathering portion of Dib’s self-imposed mission easier.

He had only been a child when he had vowed he would chase Zim to the ends of the Earth and beyond, but he had meant it. And Dib Membrane did _nothing_ only halfway.

He had boasted once, when he was small and life was black and white and simple, that the little Irken couldn’t hide from him forever. Had promised that if he tried, then Dib would wait for him forever.

And if Irkens were renowned as the most stubborn race in existence, it was only because the rest of the universe hadn’t yet been exposed to _human_ tenacity.

\---

He could always count on GIR to let him in. No matter how many times Zim lost his temper and shrieked until GIR promised to not do it again, all Dib needed to do was offer to buy him a Suck Monkey and the little robot was throwing the door wide open for him.

       “I’ll make it an extra large if you don’t tell Zim I’m here.” His voice sounded awful.

       “Okie dokie!” GIR’s small face split into an inane smile as he stepped aside and let the teenager step tentatively into the darkened living room. Should he take his boots off…? He’d never really worried about treading mud through his nemesis’ base before.

This was… stupid. This was a bad idea, he shouldn’t have come here.

But where else could he go? Where else could he _go?_ Dib didn’t _have_ friends and he wouldn’t- he _couldn’t_ \- listen to Gaz take their father’s side like she always did. Not tonight.

( _Her_ father’s side, not  _theirs_. Never theirs.)

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him the giggling little robot bolted past, very nearly bowling him over in the process.

       “ _MASTER!! Your friend is here!”_ Dib grit his teeth as GIR’s high, tinny voice echoed through the house. The malfunctioning bot was gone before Dib could say anything- down the trash can with a shrill giggle and discordant clanging to the unknown depths of the secret base below. The fourteen-year-old’s shoulders sagged as Dib heaved a heavy sigh. This was _really_ stupid. Now Zim was just going to kick him out and Dib really would have nowhere else to go but back home.

(He was _not_ going back home.)

He decided he didn’t care about his boots and flopped onto the red couch, his head tilting back to numbly stare up at the wires suspended ominously above. Sure enough, it wasn’t long until the end table lifted to reveal one of Zim’s many secret elevators, the nasty little space bug himself rising with a melodramatic snarl.

       “ _OUT,_ Earth-filth! Zim has no time for your idiot games tonight!” He barked while pointing at the door with one sharp little claw, his other hand still adjusting his wig. He growled low in his throat and stormed over. Dib quickly drew his knees to his chest up on the couch before Zim could kick at his feet.

       “Wait, Zim! Just listen! I _can’t-_ ” To his surprise, the little alien actually stopped, his lavender eyes narrowing in suspicion. “I can’t… I, I just need a, uh. Look, I promise I won’t touch anything. I don’t have my camera, you can check my coat if you want. I just, I just need a minute to-” He tried unsuccessfully to swallow down the tightness squeezing his throat and turned to face back up at the ceiling to blink back the dangerous pricking behind his eyes. He was a battle-hardened paranormal investigator and sole saviour of Earth and he was _not_ going to cry, especially not in front of _Zim_. “I can’t go home right now.”

       “ _Why?_ ” Zim’s tone was both exasperated and annoyed. Dib didn’t turn to see his expression, just focused on the thick cables high above them both, swimming through tears he refused to let fall. His nails bit into his jeans.

 _-Because my dad’s not my dad, he’s a mega narcissist on some super villain level bullshit and I don’t know if I technically count as a person anymore because he’s mucked around with my insides so much to make some sort of genius super baby and joke’s on him because all he got was me and everything makes so much more sense when you look at our family and realize there was only ever one child and one failed experiment and it really does explain why-_ No words managed to escape, his throat was too tight, just a raw, strangled sound as his head flopped forward to rest against his knees.

_-It really does explain why dad always loved Gaz more.-_

       “ _Fuck._ ” He managed to squeak out. There was no stopping it now, to his utter mortification he began to cry in earnest. He curled up as tightly into himself as he could and just… let it happen. Zim was probably going to mock him for the rest of his miserable life over it, but there was nothing else he could do. There was an awkwardly long pause before Zim eventually cleared his throat.

       “Computer?”

       //Whaaat?//

       “If the human tries to go anywhere but the couch or the front door, ehhh… vaporize his kneecaps. As for you, Dib-thing,” Dib peeked up from over his knees to watch Zim purposefully pick an invisible speck from his uniform and study it intensely to avoid making eye contact with his enemy in this vulnerable state. “There should be a remote under one of the cushions if you desire to watch some of your putrid ‘tee-vee’. I have no idea what else GIR has shoved under there though so, you know.” Zim shrugged and stared at the blackened television screen. “I suppose you have enough horrible fat fingers you probably wouldn’t notice losing one or two.” Finally, the little alien turned to eye him warily. “Are your eyes damaged?” He blinked. “You’re leaking. A lot.”

Dib gave him a dumbfounded look. He _knew_ Zim had to know what crying was- he had _seen_ Zim’s eyes tear up before.

Dib didn’t know it at that point but all he’d really observed was a purely physical response to outside stimulus. Irkens expressed their sorrow in different ways.

\---

The dark stairwell was steep and narrow, hewn into solid rock in an age long before electric lights. Dib found himself at a disadvantage due to his height once again, the low ceiling made it impossible for him to stand fully upright.

His search had led him to the oldest part of the capital city. The mouldering stone buildings in the mostly abandoned quarter were all that remained of the original inhabitants of what was now known as Cyberflox. Whatever the planet had once been called was long forgotten. All anyone seemed to know about the original inhabitants was that they were ‘primitive’. Too primitive to defend themselves, anyway. That seemed to be all there was to it. The casual dismissal left him with a deep, uneasy feeling when he thought of Earth.

The walls encasing the stairwell were damp, the rough edges of raw rock smoothed from millennia of both condensation and rough hands blindly feeling their way across the featureless stone. Of course, the stairs themselves were slick too, and Dib braced himself as well as he could against the walls in case he slipped on stairs clearly carved for feet much smaller than his, his pocket flashlight gripped awkwardly in his teeth. It was only logical to assume the ceiling was wet too, and he did his best to not mourn the fact he’d _just_ washed his hair only to get it soaked in cave slime. He sure was looking forward to being stuck smelling like this musty old hole in his tiny TakShip until they got to wherever their next destination was. (By which he meant he wondered if it would be cheaper to buy a bottle of soap and try to find a sink somewhere or just shave his head.) He stopped suddenly and bit back the urge to sigh as the dim flashlight finally illuminated the bottom of the stairwell to reveal a pool of murky water. Of course. He couldn’t really afford to ruin another pair of boots. To call trying to find shoes that fit his shape of foot difficult was a sore understatement. Apparently having more than 3 digits on either hands or feet was also weirdly rare everywhere but Earth.

He was strangely reminded of Zim dryly telling him he probably wouldn’t notice losing a finger or two on one of the worst nights of his life. It had been the first of many times Dib had wound up crashing on the little Irken’s couch when things were bad at home. It had also been the first time he realized he wasn’t imagining the subtle shift in the relationship between them, that maybe there was room there for something more than just bitter hatred.

He huffed an annoyed sigh and crouched down to undo his laces. He could probably live without a toe or two in the worst case scenario. He had survived worse.

\---

He could always count on GIR to let him in. As the years passed Dib quietly suspected he didn’t actually have to offer to buy the little robot a Suck Monkey anymore, the SIR unit would probably just let him in if he knocked at this point. But the offer was part of the routine and Zim, as chaotic as the short Irken was, tended to respond best to predictable routines. It was a bit strange to think he had built something like a routine with what had to be one of the greatest threats to all of mankind, but here they were. Now would normally be the point where he’d clearly signal his intentions, it was one of their unspoken rules.

Dib would kick his scuffed boots off by the door if he had mostly peaceful intentions and was just looking for a place he could be alone without really being _alone._ It was an impulse Zim seemed to understand on some intuitive level and was content to leave him be as long as he didn’t go poking around. There were a handful of almost surreal times where Zim would actually join him and perch on the opposite end of the couch and they would watch whatever was on TV together until either Dib dozed off or they wound up bickering over something stupid and Dib would leave.

If Dib left his boots on it was _Fate of the Earth_ business.

Though if he were being honest with himself it had never really been about the Earth, had it? In truth, it had always boiled down to victory for Dib or victory for Zim and the grim satisfaction of finally meeting a foe he didn’t have to hold back against. The heady thrill of a desperately lonely boy finally, _finally,_ experiencing how it felt to be the center of someone’s attention instead of being shut down and ignored like always.

Dib hesitated by the door. Honestly, he wasn’t sure which he was here for this time. Of course, Zim had dropped off the radar before over the past six years since he’d waltzed into Dib’s fifth-grade class. Not like this though. Normally he’d leave some sort of plot to come to fruition in his absence, or Dib would find himself peppered with childish taunts boasting about how magnificently Zim’s latest evil plan was unfolding via text or email. The latter had become notably more frequent over the past two years.

This time there was… nothing. Zim hadn’t shown up at Hi Skool or bothered Dib in almost two weeks. He hadn’t popped up at any of his usual haunts either. Not the central library garden, not the dog park with the trees, not that gross little hot dog place that GIR was so fond of. He would assume Zim had ventured off somewhere in space, but the little tracker the self-proclaimed paranormal investigator had managed to attach to the inside of Zim’s Voot indicated that it hadn’t moved.

Dib wasn’t sure what this total silence meant, but he didn’t like it.

GIR either didn’t notice Dib’s hesitance or didn’t care as he scampered to hop back up onto the couch. That was… also strange. Normally the little robot would announce his arrival to his master. Dib watched the SIR unit absently suck a chicken bone he had pulled from a Chicky Licky bucket he was using as a pillow, the malfunctioning robot’s attention absorbed entirely by the TV. None of this felt right.

       “Hey GIR,” The teenage boy kept his voice as casual and nonchalant as he could. “What’s Zim been up to lately?”

       “He breakin’ stuff.” GIR shrugged and popped the greasy leg bone back into his mouth. Dib quirked an eyebrow. Considering this was Zim they were talking about that could mean anything, really.

       “He’s missed a lot of school, is he, um, okay?” Dib startled as he was responded to not by the tiny robot, but the deeper voice of the house AI.

       //It is nothing to concern yourself with, human Dib.//

       “Well, I _am_ concerned.” Dib quickly scrambled to recover his dignity. “Ah, concerned for the future of the human race, anyway.” He planted his hands on his hips and squinted up at the cords that made up the ceiling. Man, he really had no idea where he was supposed to be looking to address the house AI, he had never really interacted directly with it like this before.

       //You really shouldn’t be.// There was a darker tone to the computer’s dismissive scoff that Dib didn’t understand, but it put him on edge nonetheless. //I would strongly suggest you go home.//

       “Where is Zim?” Dib frowned up at the wires, none of this was sitting well with him.

       //Irken Zim is in Lab 4-35.//

       “Is he okay?” The computer sighed in response.

       //Go home, Earth child.//

       “Is. He. Okay?” Dib pressed his lips into a tight line and raised his chin defiantly up at the disembodied voice.

       //Go. Home. Human.//

       “Take me down to the Lab.” He clenched his fists at his side.

       //You are not authorized to enter the Lab.// A pause. //And trust me, you really don’t _want_ to.//

Dib barked a harsh laugh in return.

       “ _Authorized?_ Like that’s ever stopped me before. Either you let me down there, or I’ll find my own way.”

The computer remained silent as the end table lifted and for a brief moment Dib thought he’d actually won. That thought was immediately erased when Zim emerged from the small elevator shaft, both hands firmly pressing his wig in place and fake lavender eyes narrowed into venomous slits.

The little Irken looked _awful._

       “What happened?” Dib breathed, whatever half-baked spiell he had previously planned on saying upon seeing his lifelong rival was completely forgotten. Something was- something was _very_ wrong. Zim’s face contorted, his lips curling back to bare his teeth, every muscle on his lean body tense as though ready to fight.

       “ _Get out._ ” The little Irken hissed, low and dangerous and nothing like his usual tantrums and theatrics.

       “Zim, what-?” His rival was quick to cut him off before Dib could finish.

       “ _GET OUT!_ ” He spat, his little hands curling into tight fists near the sides of his head like he wanted to pull his antenna. “I _hate_ you, I hate you so much I can’t _stand_ it! Why won’t you just _leave me alone?!_ ”

That little outburst stung more than he was willing to admit. Dib felt his own face twist into a snarl as he stalked forward to grab the little Irken and just shake some sense into him.

       “ _God_ , Zim, what is your _damage-_?” A familiar quiet click of Zim PAK panel popping open as soon as his hands wrapped around narrow shoulders was Dib’s only warning. A long mechanical leg darted out to hook him beneath his right arm through his ribs and out his back beneath his shoulder blade and roughly wrenched him away from the little Irken, then ripped clean and retreated back into his PAK. It was over so quickly it actually took Dib a moment to realize what had happened.

If Zim said anything he didn’t hear it as he dumbly looked down to watch his shirt darken along his side. His body flushed hot, then cold, as the room tilted around him. He landed hard on his knee- he hadn’t realized he was falling?- his vision darkening around the edges as reality stretched and distorted. He thought he heard his name through the strange ringing in his ears and managed to turn to stare at Zim, who looked… Baffled?

Dib was suddenly gripped with the irrational urge to laugh. It wasn’t funny, he could taste iron in the back of his throat and he couldn’t stop shaking and it really, _really,_ wasn’t funny at all, but Zim’s _face-_

The little Irken had just killed him and he was too fucking stupid to know it.

\---

The murky water was strangely warm against his skin, like tepid bath water, as Dib carefully plodded his way through the calf-deep stagnant pool. He had rolled the hems of his pants up as high as he could (they were still getting thoroughly soaked) and knotted his laces together to sling his boots over his shoulder and he resolutely did _not_ think about the strange, sightless creatures found in underground lakes back on his home planet. He felt his way along the wall with his hand and the stone floor with his toes, cautious of any sort of uneven terrain or perhaps more stairs hidden beneath the cloudy water.

There were many narrow hallways leading out from his current path, featureless black mouths yawning abruptly in the stone wall he was trying to use to keep himself oriented. It was a little silly, but some quiet instinct whispered for him to brace his hand against the low ceiling and shuffle awkwardly out of arm's reach from the silent arches. It would be frighteningly easy to wind up lost in that inky darkness deep, deep, beneath the planet's surface if not for the faint, blue-tinted light flickering softly at the far end of the hall.

As he drew closer he could hear a soft humming until finally, he ducked beneath the low archway to discover a massive square room filled floor to ceiling with what looked like books, tall enough that he could ( _finally_ ) stand comfortably upright without even his hair touching the ceiling. A soft blue glowing orb bobbed in lazy circles around the center near the ceiling above a jarringly modern looking steel table strewn with ancient texts and various alien tools. Thin lines had been strung in low-hanging loops from the ceiling, books suspended upon them as if in hopes to dry the pages. The humming came from a squat figure hunched over itself near the far wall. They straightened slowly to eye Dib cooly, the murky water around the base of their loose fitting cream coloured robe rippling in the soft light. They reminded Dib of a jellyfish, their large bulbous head mostly translucent besides the smattering of opaque pink that stretched up from what he assumed was their neck. Their watery yellow eyes were much more reminiscent of an octopus with their red-rimmed vertical slit for a pupil. Dib slipped his flashlight back into his pocket and squared his shoulders.

       “Are you the Xliactian archeologist, Enki?”

       “I’ve never seen one of you before.” They grinned, baring uncomfortably human-looking teeth in an otherwise entirely alien mouth. “Step closer into the light, stranger, and let Enki see you properly. It’s not often I am surprised.” They delicately shut the ancient book held gingerly in two-fingered hands and hobbled, slowly, stiffly, closer to the table. The alien moved like they were extremely old and frail, their gait more a limp than a step. Not much of a threat. The human still made sure to keep at a safe distance, in case it spat acid or something ridiculous. (That was a lesson he only had to learn once.) 

       “Smart creature,” It nodded sharply at Dib and it took a moment for him to realize it was referring to the boots slung over his shoulder. “The water here’s no good. If you stand around for any amount of time it ruins them, the fabric just comes right apart.” They laid the ancient tome lovingly down on the table, two fingers stroking the cover fondly before shooting him a wry grin. “The same thing happens to your feet too if you wait long enough.” They laughed at the way Dib’s face blanched before gesturing to the countless shelves of musty books. “They say it’s worthless, you know, up on the surface. Can you imagine such ignorance? This is all that’s left, the _last_ of lost voices in dead languages, the remains of an entire history’s worth of wars and treaties and betrayals, the rise and fall of empires, the final resting place of ancient art and forgotten gods. Its value is beyond comprehension.” They shuffled up onto a chair and Dib forced himself to not stare at the tattered edges of their robe. “Everything has a price. Some discomfort is one I am willing to pay.” Enki shot him a knowing look. “While I appreciate the small company, stranger, I assume you didn’t come to join me in my studies. What is it you seek?”

       “Has an Irken approached you recently?” Dib motioned with his hand. “About this tall?” He quirked an eyebrow. “Loud?” The corner of the Xliactian’s mouth twitched up into a sardonic grin.

       “You’re certainly more polite than your little friend. You seek the same place he did then, I take it?”

       “I’m seeking him, actually.” Dib set his jaw and evenly met the archaeologist’s clever gaze. Enki eyed him silently before their gaze softened.

       “Then I wish you luck, stranger. What you seek does not wish to be found.” They folded their hands primly over the ancient book. “I can, however, tell you where he went- for a price.” Dib had only ever met a handful of Xliactian’s in his life so their biology was still a mystery to him, but the way this one smiled gently, it’s back hunched and eyes warm in the dancing light, Dib somehow knew the one he spoke to was old, _very_ old. “Tell me a bit about yourself and what distant land shaped you, my friend, that I may have a name to your face.”

To indulge an elder’s curiosity was a small enough price to pay.

       “Dib, of Earth.”

\---

Gaz was there when he woke up. He had been trying to shift in his bed as some distant part of him wondered why he was propped upright when his gaze met wide brown eyes the same colour as his. Her pale face was illuminated by her GameSlave, out of either courtesy or apathy she hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights after darkness fell outside of his cramped hospital room. Incredibly, she had actually _paused_ her game.

       “Hey Gaz.” He managed to croak, his throat still raw from the plastic tube that had been breathing for him through the surgery.

       “Hey dummy.” Her eyes slipped into the usual squint as she turned back to her game, though there was something undeniably relieved in her gruff tone. Wordlessly she shifted in her seat so he could see the screen too and unpaused her game.

The second time he woke to unexpected company in his hospital room wasn’t nearly as peaceful.

It had taken him a moment to realize what had woken him up. The room and even the hallway outside was dark, it must have been well past visiting hours. He turned to the strange shuffling near the wall at the head of his bed and squinted at the soft pink glow that for some reason he felt wasn’t supposed to be there. A split second later everything clicked into place and he tried to bolt upright, only to double over with an involuntary hiss at the sharp pain ripping through his chest. Zim startled away from the medical equipment to stare at him with wide lavender eyes.

       “What are you doing here?” Dib managed to grind out, his throat raw and voice low in the darkened room.

       “This equipment is a _joke_ , I wouldn’t try to treat a _gerbil_ with such primitive toys. No wonder you’re in such a rough state.” The little alien hissed back. Apparently, he did have the sense to not start shouting right away and get himself thrown out. Pity.

       “I’m in such a rough state because you _stabbed_ me, you _lunatic._ ” He wished he could yell, wished that if Zim could feel bad about anything in his ridiculous trainwreck of a life it would be this.

       “It was one little hole, _Dib!_ ” Zim snapped. “Just _one!_ ” The Irken actually seemed at a loss for words for a moment, his gloved hands gesturing pointedly without words until he gathered himself enough to continue. “I could have- I could have done that at _any_ time you know. How _incomprehensibly stupid_ are you to go sneaking around an _Irken_ base when you _knew_ what I could do, and you _knew_ all it would take to-” His zipper teeth locked, his eyes squeezing shut and shoulders bunching with the effort to keep from, Dib assumed, screaming. “When you _knew_ that all it would take was one _stupid_ little hole.”

       “So you’re saying that if I stabbed you through your ugly spooch you’d be just fine?” Dib scoffed.

       “I wouldn’t up and _die_.” Zim blurted, throwing his hands in the air.

       “ _How long_ have you been on Earth, Zim?” Dib barked a derisive laugh. “ _How_ could you _possibly_ not know that humans _need_ their lungs to survive? What kind of _idiot-_ ”

       “ _Stop it!_ ” The little Irken spat, his normally vibrant green skin looking strangely pale in what little light filtered through the hospital window as his little hands fisted into the hem of his uniform. He floundered for words for a moment after his outburst. “You’re not allowed to say that!”

       “Not allowed?” Dib was actually dumbfounded for a moment before the anger and hurt came bubbling back up. “Not _allowed?_ We’re not in fifth grade anymore, Zim, you tried to _kill_ me-”

       “You took my PAK!” Zim snapped, his eyes were too bright and he was too close to the edge of the bed. “You tried to kill me too! You don’t get to be mad about this!” The same hysterical edge that had tainted his outburst back at his base was starting to creep into the little alien’s tone again, and the memory of the soft click of Zim’s PAK panel popping open jumped unbidden into his mind. _Could have done that at any time-_ Dib felt himself flinch away. The Irken was unstable. _Crazy._ And for the first time in a long, long time, Dib realized was actually afraid of Zim.

The same realization seemed to dawn on Zim. His eyes widened and he shrank back away from looming over the edge of Dib’s bed.

       “No, not you- You’re not allowed to do that either.” It could have just been Dib’s imagination but there was a faint cloyingly sweet smell, a bit like black figs, as Zim twisted his tiny hands in the front of his wrinkled uniform (come to think of it, when had he ever seen Zim’s uniform in less than pristine condition?). The little Irken suddenly seemed so small, wide-eyed and lost, far, far from home. “I’m trying to fix this, all this- I’m _trying_.”

His lips pressed into a thin line and he reached up to tightly press his hands on either side of his head, narrow shoulders bunching up and Dib realized he was quietly, _very_ quietly, making a soft clicking sound deep in his chest.

Irkens expressed their sorrow in different ways.

Dib didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing, his heart in his throat as his gaze fell to the hands he had twisted in his bedsheet. He knew how it felt to try and hold yourself together.

\---

       //… I assume you already know how I feel about this.// The ship’s tone was flat as he hopped down from the cockpit, his boots sinking into the spongy soft moss.

       “You don’t approve?” Dib didn’t look up from his wrist-mounted GPS as he twisted left and right to re-orient the little device. “Well, I suppose it’s a good thing I’m not looking for your approval, Tak.” He hummed mildly as he fiddled with the small device. He’d already programmed in the coordinates he’d gotten from Enki. Then checked, double checked, triple checked, and re-checked again and again to make sure he’d entered them correctly until the TakShip had threatened to eject him into the cold vacuum of space if he dared to even _look_ at the little device again. Dib was surprised when his ship barked out a short, harsh laugh.

       //Sometimes I forget you have teeth, human. You should try using your spine more often.//

       “I try not to be too rude to things that could slurp me out of an airlock.”

       //In that case, _why_ are you trying to drag Zim back into your life again?//

       “Tak.” There was a warning note in his tone this time. The ship sighed.

       //I know, I know.// The ship didn’t have eyes, but he could still _feel_ her roll them. //I still say you should drown him in a bog on your way back, but that’s just me.//

Nervous energy bubbled in his chest. This could be it. He very well could be finally bringing Zim back to his ship after all this time.

Or he could _not_. He very well could wind up returning to the TakShip alone. He’d gotten close only to discover the wily little Irken had managed to elude him before. Or Zim could not be interested in returning with Dib. He tried not to pay attention to the way his heart clenched at the thought- he was here for answers, that’s it. Even if they weren’t the ones he wanted to hear.

He tilted his head back to gaze up at what he could see of the cloudy grey sky between the towering trees. Landing had been… tricky. He would like to chalk it up to his expert piloting skills, but in reality, it was 99% the TakShip. Almost the entire surface of the planet was dominated by massive flora. The trees that surrounded them dwarfed anything he’d seen on Earth, some of the trunks were wide enough he’d be able to comfortably park his ship inside had they been hollow.

He could faintly remember gazing up like this at a very different tree framed sky once when he had Gaz were very, very small and their father had forgotten to pick them up from a coworker’s daughter’s birthday. Dib and Gaz had shown up with brand new skates, bought on the way to the party in sizes just a bit too big so they’d get a couple good years of use before they would outgrow them, and were never worn again after. Both the Membrane siblings quickly decided that skating in a circle was boring and pointless and left the frozen pond to sit with the adults around the fire pit. The other parents were perfectly content with ignoring the two, while Dib and Gaz were perfectly content with being ignored.  It’s not like either of them were friends with the birthday girl or any of the other kids laughing and playing their silly games on the ice.

Slowly as the hours dragged by the children and their parents left, one by one, as the sun dipped lower on the horizon until it was just Dib and Gaz and the company janitor. Her husband and daughter were two of the last to leave, but she chose to stay behind because, well, it would be wrong to leave two small children alone to fend for themselves, wouldn’t it? She’d made a few half-hearted attempts at small talk before just settling on tending the fire. Gaz’s attention was absorbed entirely by her GameSlave, Dib’s was absorbed entirely by the sky.

It was the first time in his life he’d ever seen the stars so clearly, the rich grey smoke and orange sparks rising to intertwine with the heavens. He’d never felt so small, but in a comforting way, like he was a tiny star himself cupped gently in the palm of something eternal.

The janitor had pointed out the big and little dipper, the only constellations she could identify, along with the north star (Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, and Polaris, as he’d learned in the astronomy book he’d begged his dad to pick up for him as an apology gift for leaving them behind again). She’d told him how the north star remained fixed in the sky with all the other constellations rotating around it, thus it had once been used to guide their ancestors.

In a way, it had guided him here to an ancient planet far, far away from that sooty firepit and shallow pond. It had been the first time he’d fallen in love with the stars, the first time he’d felt the pull, the _knowledge_ that out there, somewhere, was a place where he belonged.

He could faintly remember too, another time, another place, the first time he’d fallen in love with the stars under a different sky. Instead of trees, it had been buildings that had framed the cosmos, the atmosphere tinted a rich magenta instead of blue, he had lifted the small manhole cover, his first glimpse of the Surface, and had been captivated by the sky instead.

Dib wondered if he’d left as much of himself in Zim as the Irken had left in him. If sometimes when Zim looked up at the stars he could remember the warm smell of wood smoke and the taste of toasted marshmallow still sticky sweet on his tongue.

\---

There was an abandoned gas station about 2 hours beyond city limits. If Zim’s base was where he wound up when he wanted to be alone without actually being alone, then the old gas station was where he went when he _actually_ wanted to get away from it all.

No one remembered a time when it was open, or at least no one cared enough to remember. The old pumps had been removed sometime before he was born and he assumed the doors and windows had been broken down around the same time. He’d been inside the building a handful of times. Mostly when he was still a child and thought it was haunted, simply because it was old and creepy and a rather gruelling trek on a bike, ergo it _had_ to be haunted to be worth the effort of getting to. On one memorable occasion when he was nine or ten he’d tried to use an Ouija board to contact the spirits he’d convinced himself had to be there, only to wind up with the board devoured and his forearms slightly mauled by a raccoon that had taken up residence in the empty storage room shelves. The big life lesson there had been that the rabies vaccines hurt a lot more than he felt they should have. The last time he’d set foot inside the mouldering building he’d managed to convince Zim to go with him for his twenty-first birthday. He was more than old enough by then to know a place had to be more than just old and grungy to be haunted. The trip that day had been a gift to himself- his goal was to see the little alien get freaked out. Much to his disappointment Zim had been more bored than scared right up until he pried open the ancient cash register, the one that had been there as far back as Dib could remember, and discovered a bunch of old, yellowed human teeth inside.

The real appeal of the old station was the rusted ladder someone had left leaning against the wall out back. The station was far enough from the city to avoid the worst of the light pollution, making the gravel roof one of Dib’s favourite places to stargaze.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of gravel shifting near the edge by the ladder. He sat upright and whirled around to see who his unexpected visitor could be. He’d had more than one run-in with a couple of drunk teenagers looking for a semi-secluded spot to swap fluids. The tension melted from his shoulders and he flopped back down with a groan once he realized it was only Zim. He pretended to ignore it, but the sound of gravel crunching under polished little boots as the alien approached him was the center of his focus. He stopped near Dib’s shoulder and crouched down. Dib stole a glance to find the tiny green terror with both elbows resting on his knees, his small hands folded primly beneath his chin and his gaze focused on the stars.

It was like he hadn’t aged at all since that fateful day when Zim had marched into his fifth-grade class. It was hard to believe how much had changed between them since then. Both would vehemently argue to the contrary, (they had appearances to keep up, you know) but he would hardly consider Zim his enemy anymore. Sure, they still had their battles and he still had to thwart Zim’s evil plans of world domination, but now those battles were much fewer and farther between, interspersed with significantly more small, peaceful, moments like this. When Zim would sit near-ish to Dib and stay somewhat quiet-ish while the human prattled off the myths surrounding various constellations high above the planet they shared. If anything, in a twisted way the little Irken had mutated into the closest thing Dib had to a friend over the years since that awful night in the hospital when Zim had told him he was trying. It seemed only fair that Dib try too.

(There was a small voice, deep down, that he tried his best to ignore that whispered they were far beyond being just friends.)

       “Hey Zim?” His gaze flicked back to the stars above. He received a grunt of acknowledgement in return. “Do you have any legends about the constellations over Irk?”

       “No.” He scoffed. “They’re just stars, Dib-thing. Only primitive creatures too simple-minded to understand that make up silly stories about them.”  

       “Humans don’t actually _believe_ there are two bears with long tails in the sky, Zim. Especially not _now_ when we have the technology to see what’s up there. I meant, like, ancient Irk.” He couldn’t fight a teasing grin as he stared up at the sky. “Back when you were _primitive_ little cockroaches, hunting Irk-boars or whatever with your primitive little spears to bring home to your primitive little mud huts. You didn’t have myths or legends to share around your primitive campfires back then, space-boy?”

       “Irkens have _always_ been superior, pig-smell.” Zim sniffed dismissively.

Dib turned to face Zim, he’d expected something a bit more explosive for daring to imply Irkens had ever been even remotely similar to humans, even if he was referring to the deep, deep past. Zim… got like this, sometimes. He didn’t know if this was a more recent development or if he’d just been too wrapped up in himself and his self-important mission when he was a child to notice. Most of the time the little Irken would be happy to loudly declare the superiority of both himself and the rest of his genocidal Empire with enough arrogance and bravado that Dib would find himself daydreaming about pushing him down the stairs like he used to in Skool. But every now and then Dib would try to bring up his home planet and Zim would get… quiet. Dib studied the little alien’s face and found himself wishing he wasn’t wearing his flimsy disguise, Zim’s mood was much easier to read if he could see his antenna, but the little Irken seemed… sad. Dib found himself desperately wanting to make him smile again.

It was hard to believe how much had changed between them.

       “It’s been a long time since you’ve been home, huh?” His voice was low in the moonlight and he felt strangely on edge, like mentioning it would send the little alien running for his ship to blast off and leave Dib behind. Then what would Dib do? What would he even _be_? He’d built more than half his life around being the Saviour of Earth, who was he if the planet was no longer threatened?

(It was never about Earth though, was it? It had always boiled down to victory for Dib or victory for Zim, and in the end, what was Dib without Zim?)

       ( _A desperately lonely boy, shut down and ignored like always._ )

       “I suppose you’re too advanced to get homesick though, that’s just a feeble human thing, right?” Dib switched to a lighter tone to try and steer away from thin ice. “Don’t let it go to your head, but I think I’m glad you’re here, you know?”

Zim didn’t respond, didn’t even seem like he’d heard him for a long moment. Dib was on the cusp of changing the subject when Zim turned to stare down at him thoughtfully. Their eyes met and Dib found himself wishing he wasn’t wearing his disguise again, the rich red of his natural eyes more captivating by far than the fake lavender of his contacts.

His breath caught in his throat as the two froze, the heavens forgotten in favour of the other’s eyes. How often had they done this dance? Crashing together in violence and fury to fall apart, picking up the pieces only to crash together once more. Despite all the curses and scars, the blood in his mouth and under his fingernails, he had never felt more alive than when he was facing down his equal. Even at their _worst_ they were their best, together. Fighting against each other, beside each other, _for_ each other. Circles and circles, cycles and seasons, like Bootes hunted the Great Bear around the north star, Zim ran and Dib pursued. That’s how it was, that’s how it had always been.

Gravel crunched beneath small hands as Zim wordlessly shifted to scooch closer and a small voice deep down inside Dib whispered this was new, this was dangerous, there was no going back from here.

He tilted his head so his nose wouldn’t get in the way, his chin tilting up to meet the little Irken as he leaned down, his eyes fluttering shut in anticipation.

Their lips touched and everything stilled, the noise from the wind and the highway fading, the world in all of its joys and sorrows sliding away, and for one hesitant, tentative, _perfect_ moment it was just Dib and just Zim, alone in the universe. The kiss was uncertain, almost chaste, Zim’s soft lips pressing lightly against his and it was absurd and bewildering yet made perfect sense.

All too soon that warm, gentle pressure was gone. Dib’s eyes cracked open to find Zim turned away, looking surprised with two fingertips pressed lightly against his mouth. Something warm and soft and stupid fluttered in his chest. Human sentiment.

       “I love you.” It slipped out from Dib’s lips as naturally as breathing, surprising him too even as he realized it was true.

Zim’s gaze snapped back to meet his, Dib’s elation in the wake of his confession sinking to confusion and dread as the little Irken blanched, his lavender eyes widening in horror.

Everything was gone by the next morning. The house, the stupid lawn ornaments, the labyrinth of hidden rooms deep underground, all of it.

Dib had exhausted his resources with the Swollen Eyeballs, he’d filed a missing person report with the local authorities, he’d used the TakShip to track Zim’s Voot all the way to the irritable little screwhead the Irken had sold it to on the distant Charcunga, he’d even tried reaching out to their old classmates to see if Zim had gotten in contact with any of them. His messages were mostly ignored, except for a few dismissive or derisive comments and a sincere message from Keef offering his condolences and asking if he and Zim were together, like, romantically. Dib had read and reread the message but he never responded.

If Dib had once been baffled by how easily an outsider, a _literal extraterrestrial_ , had been able to slip in and pretend to be a member of human society like he’d been there the whole time, then he was truly horrified by how easily a person could disappear.

The days became weeks, weeks melted into months, the Earth spun on, life waiting for no one. Zim became a missing person who nobody missed at all.

Earth was safe, Zim had given up. Dib had won, hadn’t he?

Zim was gone.

It wasn’t long before Dib was gone too.

\---

The coordinates led him to what looked like the tallest tree in the forest, it’s crown lost high in the clouds. It’s exposed roots were as thick as entire tree trunks back on Earth, twisting and intertwining in the ripped soil. A narrow path of small, round, iridescent pebbles, the first sign of sentient life Dib had encountered on the unnamed planet, led it’s winding way through the twisting labyrinth round and round the massive tree. The shift had been so subtle that, at first, he hadn’t noticed it. The path was spiralling down and tighter to the trunk. He hadn’t noticed until he was ducking beneath the thick roots, the beams of sunlight making the dust motes dance in the air between the roots, the small pebbles shining brilliantly where the light hit them just the right way. It wasn’t long before Dib had to concede and pull out his pocket flashlight, the gnarled roots knotted so tightly no light could filter through anymore. He couldn’t tell if he was underground or actually _in_ the tree. Still, the path continued and deeper, deeper into cold inky darkness Dib fell.

He didn’t know how long it had been following him for, but there was something in the roots, keeping pace at his side. He could hear what sounded like nails scraping against the bark if he paused mid-stride, the scratching stoping a half-pace later as though whatever it was hadn’t expected him to stop. More joined in the further he went, until the dry skittering surrounded him, moving in time with each of his steps but drowning the sound they were clearly trying to use to cover their own. He couldn’t catch a glimpse of them either. He could see the pale, gangly, creatures in his peripheral vision, but the one time he had swung his flashlight and face away from the path he had felt hot, stale breath against his cheek and blunt dry teeth sink into his jaw. Whatever it was hadn’t broken the skin, thank goodness, but when he whirled back around there was nothing there. Just the scraping of nails against bark. Dib kept his eyes on the path after that.

Finally, the narrow winding corridor opened to a massive foyer, easily the circumference of the ancient tree’s trunk. By now he only had his little flashlight to pierce the darkness. The silence was total and all consuming. The skittering had stopped, _everything_ had stopped. Not even his footfalls broke the stillness, the sound swallowed by the dirt.

There was… nothing. Just a bare dirt floor with a stampede of mish-mashed footprints pressed into the soft soil. There was no way to tell how old the prints were as there was no wind or rain to disturb the ground. He found himself wondering if one of the sets of prints belonged to Zim, if Dib was truly on the right track. He found himself searching for little round holes in the dirt like someone had hammered a peg into the soil and ripped it out again. It was only while searching for traces of PAK legs he noticed a ring of the same iridescent stones that had made the path laid in a perfect circle in what he assumed was the center of the room. The pressure in the room felt different here, the air felt heavier, harder to breathe. He leaned over the small, plain circle and realized the inside was the only place in the room without any footprints.

       “You’re awfully far from home, stranger.”

       “JESUS FUCK-!” Dib leapt away from the edge of the circle and whirrled on the source of the unexpected voice. His flashlight beam landed on a small hooded figure. She held her hands up in a pacifying gesture and pulled back her hood to reveal an old Vortian.

       “Forgive me, my friend, I didn’t mean to startle you.” She smiled placatingly up at him. “And my name is Arae, not Gezisfuk.”

       “How do you know I’m far from home?” Dib squinted suspiciously down at the shrivelled Vortian.

       “Everyone who comes to this place is.” Arae shrugged mildly and limped closer to the edge of the circle leaning heavily on a cane that looked like it had been carved from the same tree they were standing under. This whole place felt... wrong.

       “Were you following me on the path?” He asked slowly. What he meant was ‘ _did you bite my face, you freak?_ ’

       “Oh no, of course not. These old bones couldn’t keep up with a spry young thing like you.” The Vortian chuckled and pointed up with her cane. “ _Those_ old bones did.” Dib flicked his flashlight beam up to the roof and recoiled. The entire ceiling as a mass of gnarled roots and pale bones, hopelessly intertwined. “Please forgive their forwardness, stranger, it has been a long, long time since they have felt warm.” Dib turned the beam back to Arae, her pale yellow eyes shining sightlessly in the light. “And you are _very_ warm, my friend.”

       “What is this place?” Dib’s voice was low as he shifted towards where he hoped the exit would be in case he had to make a run for it. “Who are you?”

       “They worshipped Her, once.” Arae gestured up at the roof. “They strung flowers from Her boughs and poured wine upon Her roots. From the beginning they knew She held an incredible power. So it was Her they turned to in the end. They begged Her to protect them, so She did. She took them into Herself, with Her roots She sheltered them and with their blood, She grew strong. Strong enough to defend them from anything that would harm them. Strong enough that neither She nor Her children could ever be tamed.” She paused. “As for me, I am trapped. I cannot return from whence I came, and the price of my freedom is one I cannot bear to pay. Thus, it’s here I stay to tend to the bones and watch the Well.”

       “The Well?” Dib perked up. “So it is here then!”

Enki had described it as the true Center of the universe, a fingerprint left behind by the initial Singularity that had kickstarted it all. Rumour had it that reality got a little… wonky in that point. That you could do just about _anything_ at the Dead Center- for a price.

       “Foolish boy, you very nearly fell in it.” Arae chuckled as she gestured to the simple circle of stones. “Now, what is it you wish for from the Well?” Her eyes gleamed hungrily in the harsh glow of the flashlight.

Anything. He could have _anything_.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat. He already knew what he wanted.

       “I’m looking for someone.” His voice was strong, as frightened as he was, he knew this was the right answer.

       “What you’re looking for doesn’t wish to be found.” the Vortian quirked an eyebrow. “The little Irken has made a _lot_ of powerful enemies. It makes sense that he wishes to remain hidden. He has paid his Price.”

       “He’ll accept it if it’s me.” Dib felt the corner of his lip quirk into a small, fond smile. “Honestly he’s probably expecting me to find him. It’s kind of our thing.”

Arae eyed him thoughtfully for a long while, her head tilted towards the Well before a wry grin slowly melted her icy look.

       “She accepts and wishes you luck on your hunt, Bear Driver.” Arae’s grin split into a wide smile, baring surprisingly sharp teeth. “In return, She asks for a Promise.”

       “A promise?” Dib blinked. “What kind of promise?” The little Vortian held up her little finger in response. Dib was suddenly struck by how weird it was that an ancient culty little Vortian squatting over the site of the Big Bang would have any idea what a pinky swear was.

       “It’s the symbol of the thing, my friend.” She wiggled her pinky for emphasis, a shrewd glint in her eye. That didn’t inspire much confidence. Then again, he wasn’t going to back down now, not when he was so close.

Dib hesitantly held out his left hand and extended his pinky to wrap around the Vortians. He blinked his surprise when she shifted out of his grasp to gently cup his hand between both of hers. Then she lunged forward, quicker than he could react despite her old age, and bit off his little finger.

He cried out and ripped his hand away from the Vortian. She threw her head back and cackled, red on her lips and on her wicked teeth, and _shoved_ him over the pale stones into the circle.

\---

Gravel crunched beneath his boots.

He knew his surroundings off by heart. The chirping crickets, the trees across the road starting to change colour in the late summer evening, the rustle of the wind in the leaves, the occasional car ripping down the lonely highway.

He would think he was actually back at the old gas station back home, except the constellations were all wrong.

Well, a few were right. Dib did his best to not be too touched to recognize they were the ones he had told Zim about. Ursa Minor and Ursa Major, Cepheus, Draco, and Bootes. Otherwise, the sky was painted in ways he’d never seen before, a pink-tinted river of stars arranged in patterns he’d never imagined.

Zim sat upright and whirled around to see who his unexpected visitor could be, red eyes wide and antenna perked forward in alarm. The tension melted from his shoulders, his antenna dropped to a neutral position and he flopped back down with a groan once he realized it was only Dib. The human couldn’t fight a soft smile as he shoved his left hand into his coat pocket and made his way across the dusty rooftop. He didn’t want Zim to see his hand yet, didn’t want that to be the first thing they talked about. His finger was gone, the wound healed over so cleanly it was like the digit had never been there in the first place. He stopped near Zims shoulder and sat down.

He glanced at the little Irken out of the corner of his eye. He looked different out of his uniform. Dib’s gaze flicked back up to the sky. Their first conversation probably shouldn’t be him calling Zim out on stealing his old shirt either.

       “You’re the worst.” Zim deadpanned and Dib had never once in his life thought he would have missed such an annoying voice as much as he had. He happily hummed an acknowledgement. There was a pause before Zim finally sighed.

       “They call that Luc’s Scar.” He pointed up at the pinkish hazy band of light arching high above them. “Back on Irk.” His little hands folded on his stomach. “Legend has it that Luc was a highly respected warlord, tall and strong, with a disciplined army that adored her. A rival elite grew envious of her power and attacked her estate in the night. Her soldiers fought valiantly but were overwhelmed due to being caught by surprise. Luc was trapped in the watchtower when her rival demanded she submit herself and be docile to him or he would burn the lands of her ancestors. So she emerged from the top of the tower with the grace of a Tallest and cut herself open in front of him. They say she used the last of her strength to rip her insides out and throw them down at her rival’s horrified soldiers. The gods or whatever were so impressed by her bravery and strength they strung them up in the sky.”

Dib turned back to stare at the little Irken, the faint drumming _**Death before Defeat- Death before Defect- Death before Defilement**_  pounding beneath his skin. He guessed it made sense that they would venerate such a person, passing her name and story down from generation to generation when even their old gods were lost.

       “Why did you leave?” Dib’s voice was soft. He would not be distracted from what he came for. Zim’s lips pressed into a thin line and he wrung his hands.

       “The mission, my mission, was a lie.” He swallowed, his gaze locked on the stars above, constellations he’d never see in person again. “The Tallest banished me.”

       “I know.” And Dib realized that, deep down, he had. It wasn’t as much of a surprise as he’d thought it would be. It made sense, actually. It made a lot of things make sense. “Why did you leave?” It was a long time before Zim answered.

       “I love you.” His tone was neutral, like they were discussing the weather. “That’s… Defective behaviour. If they ever read my PAK again they’d know. They’d deactivate and delete me, then they’d find you and delete you too.” Dib reached out and laid a firm hand on top of Zim’s before the little Irken wound up nervously picking a hole in the front of Dib’s old shirt. They both stared at their fingers entwined. Their hands were so different, yet they fit together so well in their own weird way. Zim looked away first to gaze up at the stars again and Dib looked away as well, he supposed that was the polite thing to do. He also politely didn’t comment on the faint, cloyingly sweet smell like black figs.

       “I missed you.” Dib gently squeezed the small hands he had trapped under his.

       “I missed you too.” Zim’s voice was softer. “If they bring me back and hook up my PAK- if they see-” Zim abruptly turned his face away from his human. “If they saw and they _laughed_ , I wouldn’t be able to _stand_ it, Dib. I don’t know what I’d do, but I wouldn’t-”

A faint clicking, from deep in his chest.

Emotion welled up in the back of Dib’s throat and all the managed to choke out was an awkward “Hey.” The gravel crunched beneath him as he shifted his weight. “Hey, hey.” He bundled up the petite Irken and pulled him close as the first warm drop ran down Dib’s face too. “It’s going to be okay.” Small claws hooked in the fabric of his coat as Zim nuzzled into him, clinging like he never intended on letting go. That worked for Dib, he didn’t think he ever wanted to let go either. “We’ll be okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a Valentine's Day exchange for the talented DarkAbyss (check out their work right here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAbyss/pseuds/DarkAbyss - you won't regret it!) 
> 
> Sorry it's a bit later than I had hoped to have it up, I hope it's to your liking!


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